My friend contact me. She was surprised that I live so far away from my home. That I wrote a book and published it in USA...that I live now in Jakarta. So many things to ask and so many questions...some people wish to be my friends online...more and more. I personally think that we human are connected anyway by humanity so I don't mind.
Her passion is photography. I must say she is good. In her photos I see beauty. Much beauty...wide open space. Freedom. In her photos are no humans. No children, no people. I think she wish to run away from her life...she is searching for freedom. Air, beauty and open sky. Many people are in search for a freedom.
Who is searching for a freedom is not free. Usually they are trapped in their life. She likes to see wolfs and birds and bears. Free, strong independent animals. She is not. She cannot face her father....in reality she is a little mouse who is afraid of her shadow when he is in charge. Her father is egoistic, selfcentred and authoritarian man, that emotionally abuse her mother and her. There is no one but just him. His success, his material independent make many depend on him.
I think she hates him. It is hard to tell this but she can correct me if I am not right. I will be happy if not. There is also no love, no man in her life. How? She doesn't wish to be abused, so she doesn't wish to be involved with a man. Her perception of love, relationship, sex and harmony beetwen man and woman is let us say gently because I don't wish to hurt her....incorrect.
I know that she will be mad and furious about my article. She must defend herself of course. To be safe. I understand it. She will explode like a vulcano. She is strong, independent, free. She is a bear, wolf...Many people react the same.....who wish to see the truth of themself. I was many times in denial too. But deep inside I know the truth. I fight with anything, I had to prove them wrong. She will do the same. I know...
Maybe I will lose a friend too. I will be sad if that happen because I don't need friends that cannot tell the truth abouth me... also to me. Who needs that kind of friends...no one. We have many friends in modern time. Many request for friendship online...more and more. Sad thing is how can I be a good and reliable friend that know when someone is in need or hurt if I am a friend online. We need relationships to be a good friends. I think this modern time take away the real friendship and replace it with numbers. I cannot be connected by technology. I must and wish to be connected with my heart, love, worries... sad and happy moments that I share with a person.
I hope that we will meet and then she will put her fire on me...so what? It is normal. But I know her well...she will cry inside like for so many years....and then she will go again to search for a freedom into the world. To climb the biggest mountain...to shot the most beautiful photos. In search for light....
I hope she will stop one day and search for her freedom inside. Many don't....sadly. She is a woman, free...who am I to tell her how she must live...I am not her father she would tell. I will be quiet and sad because I know...who is searching for the freedom is not free....
After a while she will send me some new photos from Canada or Alaska...
